Only When I Dream Read online

  Only When I Dream

  Richard Allen Evans

  Published by Mustang E-Books, 2015.

  This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.

  ONLY WHEN I DREAM

  First edition. November 20, 2015.

  Copyright © 2015 Richard Allen Evans.

  ISBN: 978-1516399116

  Written by Richard Allen Evans.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

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  Also By Richard Allen Evans

  About the Author

  This book is dedicated to my wife and editor Joy who encouraged me to follow my dream. You are the rose of my life and heart.

  Chapter One

  She had that look in her eye – the one that made his heart melt each time he saw it. Until tonight that look had always been from a distance. But now, there she sat across the table from him.

  She smiled slightly as she studied his face. Her lovely brown eyes sparkled with a hint of mischief as a lock of her dark chestnut hair fell across her forehead.

  Jett coughed slightly to clear his throat in an effort to buy time as he gathered his thoughts.

  “Well? No good answer?” Rose asked.

  The small murmur of diners filled the little steak house. It was a casual dining establishment but The Blue Lancer about the best Crystal Springs, Ky. could offer. It was a small college town on the Cumberland River. Five star eateries just didn’t exist in this part of Kentucky - that was for the folks in the Bluegrass Region and beyond.

  He laughed softly. “I have a great answer. I’m just trying to figure out how to put it into words,” he said.

  “It must be a doozy then,” she responded with a laugh of her own.

  There was that look again.

  “Why did I ask you out?” He repeated her initial question almost rhetorically.

  She tilted her head, amused as he grasped for his choice of words.

  “Maybe the answer is in another question,” Jett mused.

  “Oh? And what would that be,” Rose asked.

  Knowing he was on dangerous ground for a first date – too much, too soon was more often than not a bad thing in such situations. Jett opted to take his chance and plow forward. If things with the fair Rose did not work out it would not be for lack of effort – or honesty – on his part.

  “Aside from the obvious, you’re also smart, funny, and so easy to talk to. So –” he was cut off.

  “The obvious? What do you mean?” She asked with genuine curiosity. “You’re well...beautiful. I mean you have a smile that lights up the room and your eyes,” Jett paused. “You’re eyes are the definition of lovely. And the only reason I hesitate at all to say so is because this a first date and I realize that’s maybe a kinda heavy thing to say but the better question is why wouldn’t I ask you out?” Jett managed to get out; surprised he had not run out of breath and did not stumble over a single word.

  Rose blushed slightly. “Thank you,” she said as she swept her hand across her forehead to brush away the rebellious lock of hair.

  She studied the face of the young man across the table. His eyes – an icy shade of blue – shifted slowly from her face and to the table before returning back to her.

  Clean-shaven, he had neatly trimmed and short sandy colored hair that was parted perfectly on the left side. Broad-shouldered, all of his 6’3, 240-pound frame seemed suddenly nervous and appeared to shift uncomfortably in his seat.

  Rose knew that he feared he had overstepped some unwritten rule about first dates and perhaps he had but she was far from offended. The sudden warmth she felt surprised her.

  Perhaps pressing his luck, Jett spoke again.

  “I’m sure you’ve heard the same thing from every guy you’ve ever dated and but I – I don’t know, I felt like I would regret it if I didn’t say it,” he said with a sheepish smile.

  “You’re very sweet,” Rose answered and he saw the look in her eyes. She was pleased.

  He allowed himself a small breath of relief.

  “Just being honest,” Jett said softly.

  The shattering of a dropped plate echoed from the kitchen interrupting their moment and drawing their attention to the waitress with very big dishwater blonde hair standing by the table with their meal.

  According to the tag on her uniform her name was Lucille.

  “Okay, I have a grilled chicken with loaded baked potato and mixed veggies,” as she sat the plate down in front of Rose. “And a rib eye medium with baked potato and green beans,” as she placed Jett’s meal on the table.

  As they each uttered a polite thank you, Lucille stepped back and drew the tray to her chest with a wide grin that revealed a little excess lipstick on her teeth.

  “Honey I don’t know either one of you from Adam and it ain’t none of my business,” she said to Rose. “But I think this one’s a keeper,” Lucille said nodding to Jett.

  “You might be right,” Rose said as her smiling gaze shifted from Lucille to Jett, who felt his own cheeks redden.

  Nearly 30 years later, that memory still brought a smile to Jett’s face. The smile faded all too quickly. Her side of the bed was empty. Ten years to the day since cancer took his beloved Rose out of his life and he could not get used to the empty bed.

  For the first couple of years he slept on the couch or in a recliner – when he managed to get a few hours of restless sleep. He forced himself to return to the bedroom after their sons appealed to him out of concern for his physical well-being.

  He dreamed of her often and as much as reveled in those dreams, he hated waking up. The only thing as powerful as the love he still felt for her was the heartbreaking loneliness that consumed him since her death.

  On the anniversary of her passing the dreams were especially vivid. He could still recall the scent of her perfume on that first date as powerfully as the look in her eyes.

  That look in her eyes.

  His heart still skipped a beat whenever he thought about it. Jett didn’t know it at the time – he was too young and perhaps blinded by his own feelings for her to notice that Rose was already falling in love with him.

  He reached to her side of the bed and rubbed his palm across the empty sheet as if making sure she wasn’t there or that he could somehow make her reappear.

  Jett knew he should get out of bed and face the day ahead – even if he didn’t want to face it. The ringing of the telephone made the decision for him. After three rings, Jett picked up the receiver.

  “Hello.” He said without even checking the caller I.D.

  “Good morning dad,” said his son Matt.

  “Good morning son,” Jett said. “How’re you doing?”

  “I was about to ask you the same thing. How’d you sleep?” Matt answered.

  Rubbing his unshaven chin, he answered, “About like you’d think.”

  There were a few seconds of silence.

  “I wish I was there with you - so does Danny,” Matt said.

  Giving his head a quick shake to clear
the cobwebs, Jett asked, “And where is your brother this morning?”

  “Still working out. He overslept this morning. He had a hard time sleeping last night. We both did,” Matt said.

  “We all did son,” Jett said.

  “We’re going to see her later. We’re taking two dozen roses,” Matt said.

  Fighting to hold back tears, Jett spoke carefully to avoid his voice cracking.

  “She would be...so proud of you boys. I know I am,” he said.

  “You driving down?” Matt asked.

  “Yeah, I’ll be down this afternoon with a dozen roses of my own. You boys free for supper with the old man,” Jett said.

  “I think we can fight off the girls long enough for that,” Matt said.

  “Heh. That’d be nice,” Jett said.

  “Fighting off the girls or supper?” Matt asked.

  “Now that you mention it, both,” Jett laughed.

  Matt had Rose’s ability to make him laugh. He saw so much of her in both boys.

  “It’s good to hear you laugh dad,” Matt said.

  “Well, I have so little to laugh about here in Lexington these days,” he said.

  “So have you made a decision?” Matt asked.

  “I have. Why don’t we talk about it at supper?”

  “Okay. We’ll talk about it then. I hate to run dad but I’ve got a 9 o’clock class – Government Administration,” Matt said.

  “Have fun and tell your brother I’ll see you both later,” Jett said.

  The two-hour drive down I-75 gave Jett time to think or more appropriately remember. Yes, there were those awful months of treatments and those painful final days that would forever haunt him. He tried not to dwell on those thoughts. Jett preferred to remember his Rose the way she would want - healthy, vibrant, and above all, happy. The memory of her dimpled smile still stirred him inside.

  The decision he reached would not only have made her smile but laugh with glee - and probably a few childlike spins as well.

  As the miles passed, his mind wondered farther and farther back in time. Last night’s dream lingered with him. That first date with her was truly special. He recalled pulling up on Main Street in front of her dorm, Austin Hall, and how he hopped so quickly out of his 1985 Ford Bronco II to race around and open her door. His heart raced when he took her hand to help her step down out of the SUV.

  “Would it be alright if I walked you to the door?” He asked.

  “Absolutely. But before you do, could we sit for a few minutes?” Rose asked as she sat down on a bench in front of the dorm.

  It was early March and the air was a chilly 35 degrees and they could easily see their own breaths when they spoke.

  “I’ve had a really good time tonight,” she said.

  “So have I,” Jett said as he settled next to her.

  “Before we go any further there’s something I need to tell you,” she said.

  His heart sank. He was certain he was about to get the ‘I like you as a friend’ speech and hoped his face didn’t reveal the true depths of his disappointment.

  “Please don’t take this the wrong way but –”

  “Here it comes,” he thought quietly.

  “But I don’t kiss on the first date,” her brow furrowed. “I know that’s probably a little weird, but –”

  Jett cut her off.

  “No, not at all. I understand. I won’t lie and say I’m not disappointed but I understand. Really, I do,” he said hoping the relief in his voice wasn’t so evident.

  She smiled.

  “I’m glad. Most guys don’t get it,” Rose said.

  He laughed softly.

  “I’m not most guys. But I do have to ask,” he said as she tilted her head quizzically.

  “Will there be a second date?”

  Her smile widened.

  “Yes, without a doubt – I mean, as long as you’re asking,” Rose said.

  “Asking? I’m practically begging,” Jett said as she giggled.

  “I’m free whenever you are,” she said.

  “I’m not real good at this but is tomorrow night too soon?” He asked.

  Again, she gave him a wide smile.

  “That sounds fine,” Rose said as the smile faded. “There is one other thing I want to tell you.”

  It was Jett’s turn to offer a puzzled look.

  “Those things you said at the restaurant...when I asked you why you asked me out. You were wrong,” she said.

  “About what?” He asked.

  “When you said those sweet things and said that I’d heard it from every guy I ever dated...no one’s ever said that to me before – outside of my parents I mean,” Rose said.

  “You mean tell you that you’re beautiful?” Jett asked as she nodded.

  He leaned in close to her and looked deep into her eyes and reached up to gently caress the left side of her face with his right hand and spoke softly.

  “Then you’ve dated some real idiots,” he said as she laughed out loud. “If they couldn’t see it they were either blind or stupid.”

  Her laughter subsiding, she said, “I just wanted to thank you. You’re very considerate and sweet,” Rose said.

  Jett smiled.

  “I just pointed out the obvious. You are beautiful and someone should tell you that every day to remind you,” he said as his voice softened.

  “Are you volunteering for the job?” Rose asked playfully.

  Jett smiled slowly.

  “Would that bother you if I did?”

  “Not at all. It actually sounds...,” she said as she pondered her next words.

  “Cheesy?” Jett asked.

  Rose laughed.

  “I was going to say that sounds like something most girls - including me - would enjoy. Besides, I like cheese,” she said still laughing.

  “Good to know,” Jett said as he quickly climbed to his feet.

  “Where are you going?” Rose asked with a degree of alarm in her voice.

  “To buy you a cheddar wheel,” he said as he abruptly stopped.

  She nearly doubled over with laughter as Jett returned to his seat next to her.

  “You’re different alright,” Rose said as several guys and their dates paraded past them glancing at the giddy couple.

  But you’re different in good way.”

  From down the street the familiar horn of an oncoming train sounded. Jett glanced at his watch.

  “Looks like the ‘Midnight Special’ is about three minutes late,” he said.

  “It’s already after midnight?” Rose asked.

  “I’m so sorry I’ve kept you out so late,” Jett said.

  “I guess I do need to go inside,” she said as she stood up.

  Walking toward the door went by her side unsure of what to say, dreading the awkward kiss-less good night.

  “I’ve had a wonderful time. Thank you so much for such a great night,” Rose said.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow?” Jett asked.

  “It’s already tomorrow - a brand new day,” she said as they reached the door.

  “Yeah, I guess it is,” he said as he took a breath - he might as well at least make the effort.

  “Rose, before I go,” he said as she turned to face him.

  “Yes?”

  “You really are beautiful. I meant every word I said earlier. I’m not sure there’s a word in the English language that adequately describes you, so beautiful will have to do until I find something better. I like to get an early start on the things I need to do each day,” Jett said.

  She grinned and leaned closer to him, embracing him for hug. He was at least seven inches taller than her. Rose reached up and pulled Jett’ face closer to her and kissed him on his right cheek.

  “I technically didn’t break my rule about kissing on the first date. That was a thank you kiss,” she said with an almost mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

  Without blinking, Jett quickly responded.

  “Even if you would have I s
upport a woman’s right to change her mind,” he said.

  She giggled and took his left hand into her right hand. “I’ve got some homework to do at the library tomorrow but we can meet and go for a walk before we go out if you’d like,” Rose said.

  “I’d like that - a lot,” Jett said.

  “Would three be okay with you?” She asked.

  “I’ll meet you at the library,” Jett asked.

  “That sounds good,” Rose said as let her hand linger on his. “Have a good night...I hope you sleep well.”

  “You too. I’ll see you in the morning. And before I forget, I had a great time tonight too,” Jett said as he felt her had slip out of his.

  They backed away from each other slowly turning, with each looking over their shoulder as they parted and each sporting the same half smile.

  ***

  Jett came back to the present and realized he was approaching the Renfro Valley exit. He was making excellent time considering it was Thursday and the tractor-trailer volume was heavy on I-75.

  His silver 2011 Ford Escape handled well enough. It was an appropriate descendant to his first new vehicle, a 1985 Ford Bronco II. Jett was a Ford man. He learned to drive in a 1969 F-150, a vehicle handed down to him by his older brother Bobby, who wanted something sportier when he got out of basic training at Fort Campbell.

  That ‘78 Fiat turned out to be a real lemon. Bobby had in the shop more than he had it on the road in the two years he owned it. The F-150 however was a reliable ride that helped Jett work on farms in Bell, Evans, Whitley, and Fuson counties.

  It was backbreaking work in hayfields and tobacco farms. He eventually was able to lease – along with his dad – a few allotments and raise tobacco of his own. The profits from their work went into investments in the stock market – specifically into computer software companies in the early 1980s.

  By 1985, those investments began to pay off handsomely. Revenue generated from stocks gave him and his family a degree of financial independence.

  Not only did it allow him to buy his first new vehicle it gave him the flexibility to choose a career.

  So many people his age from that area opted to go into teaching when they reached college. It was a good, solid, if underpaid, profession but there were only so many open positions each year – depending upon the subject and/or grade taught.