Only When I Dream Read online

  Tears filled his eyes and he tried to speak.

  “Rosie?” He asked.

  She grinned through her own tears and opened her arms. Jett rushed to embrace her.

  Their lips met and he pulled back to see her face. She held his face in her hands and he turned his head and kissed each one. Rose leaned in and kissed him again, this time for a bit longer.

  “I love you so much,” Jett said as he squeezed her tightly.

  She ran her fingers through his hair.

  “Silver always looked good on you,” Rose said with a wide smile.

  Jett opened his mouth and tried to speak. Words would not come. The emotion flooded him at once as she merely nodded and managed to get out the words, “I know baby, I know.”

  He stroked her hair as he pressed the side of his face to hers. Jett could have sworn he smelled the scent of her shampoo and her favorite perfume.

  Was that even possible? Given everything else that was taking place, he couldn’t very well say that it was impossible.

  “I’ve missed you more than I can put into words,” Rose said.

  “Oh baby...I was going to say the same thing. Just to hold you in my arms again...it’s more than could ever hope for,” he said.

  “It’s been so long...too long,” she said as squeezed him even more tightly.

  “My love...my wonderful, dear Rose,” Jett said as he kissed her once more.

  She smiled again.

  “I thought you told me once - right here on this very spot in fact - that you weren’t good at this kind of thing,” she said.

  “I got better...thanks to you,” he said.

  Rose tossed her back and looked up at him.

  “Hmmmm....yeah, I’ll take credit for that,” she said playfully.

  With the back of his hand, he brushed away the tears from her cheek.

  “My heart belongs to you,” Jett began.

  “Forever and always,” Rose finished.

  It was a direct quote from the wedding vows they had written.

  They walked to the bench together and sat down.

  “You have never looked more beautiful,” he said.

  “The last time you said that was when the boys were born. You also told me that each day of the pregnancy as I recall,” she said.

  “And I was right. You got more beautiful every day. I didn’t tell you that enough. I didn’t say I love you nearly enough either,” Jett said.

  She smiled.

  “Yes, you did. Never think that and don’t feel bad about it. You made me feel special each day we were together,” Rose said.

  “I can’t help but feel like I didn’t do enough for you. And now...that’s all I want to do. I just want to hold you, look into your beautiful eyes, and tell you I love you over and over,” he said.

  She ran her fingers through his hair again.

  “I feel the same way but that’s not possible – at least not right now. We just have a few more minutes together here,” Rose said.

  “And then what?” Jett asked with fear rising in his voice.

  Again, she offered him a sweet smile.

  “Relax sweetie. I’ll see you again in a few minutes. From now on, we can talk as much as you want in your dreams,” Rose said.

  “Will I not see you like this again?” He asked.

  “Yes, honey you will. It’s just that meetings like this are limited. But now that we’ve finally got to meet face to face so to speak, I can talk to you in dreams,” she said.

  “I don’t understand,” Jett said.

  “I don’t fully understand myself and there are some things I can’t reveal but there is a little information I can share. I’d rather do that later. I want to spend these next few minutes enjoying each other’s company. Would that be okay?” Rose asked.

  “Whatever you want,” he said as he hugged tightly again.

  “What I want is to feel your arms around me,” she shuddered as she snuggled as close as she could.

  “As wonderful as this is, I can’t help but think how much our boys would enjoy a chance to hold you or be held by you,” Jett said.

  “I know,” Rose said sadly. “But you can’t say anything – not yet.”

  Jett nodded.

  “I understand. Actually I don’t, but I believe you. I really hope you can tell me more later,” he said.

  She patted his hand.

  “I will. I promise,” Rose said.

  “I understand you’ve visited the boys,” Jett said.

  She smiled broadly again.

  “Yes I have. But they’re not our little boys anymore. They’re good and decent men like their father,” Rose said.

  “Oh no, they take after you,” he said.

  “I’m so happy they found such fine girls,” she said.

  “Yeah, me too. Think they marry them?” Jett asked.

  Once again, Rose smiled.

  “I think they’ll be okay – all of them,” she said.

  He kissed her again. “I love you so much,” he repeated.

  “You know, I’ve never gotten tired of hearing that. And I love you and I love being able to say it to you,” Rose said.

  “This spot really is special. Your messenger was right,” Jett said.

  She chuckled.

  “J.D. was always perceptive – especially to the obvious,” Rose said.

  Jett shook his head and smiled.

  “No, not J.D. The other one,” he said.

  “The other one?” She asked.

  “Yeah. Marie Atkins. But I’ve got to tell you honey, I’m just a little surprised you picked her,” he said.

  “Jett, I didn’t send her. I didn’t even know she could get into your dreams,” Rose said with a trace of alarm.

  “She didn’t get into my dreams. She was here in person...or whatever...like you are now,” he said.

  “She was here...but how?” Rose asked.

  “I thought you were always watching,” Jett said.

  Suddenly Rose looked confused and afraid.

  “There are times that I can’t but that’s not important right now. Tell me, what did she say?” Rose asked.

  “She said if I would come here tonight that you would be here,” Jett said.

  Rose looked surprised and even more worried.

  “Did Marie say anything else?” She asked.

  “So you do know her?” He asked.

  “Yes, I do. Did she say anything else?” Rose asked.

  “Rosie, what’s wrong?” Jett asked.

  “Did Marie say anything else?” She asked with more of a sense of urgency.

  “Just that I should treasure the love we share and that she would never see her fiancée again. Now tell me. What’s wrong?” Jett asked.

  “I’m not sure. But I’m afraid it’s nothing good,” she said.

  “Is there anything I can do?” He asked.

  Rose’s expression changed from worried to a smile. Jett had seen that many times before. It was a familiar ploy she used to make others feel more at ease while she bore the worry alone. It didn’t work when she was diagnosed with cancer and it wasn’t working now.

  “I’m onto you baby. Don’t do this alone. Let me help,” Jett said.

  Rose held both of his hands and looked into his eyes.

  “I know you want to help...but I’m not sure you can. And it might turn out to be nothing to worry about,” she said.

  “Can J.D. help?” Jett asked.

  “Maybe – if he’s even needed,” Rose said.

  They stood for a couple more minutes just embracing each other in silence.

  “Jett...I need to go...I don’t want to but I have to,” she said.

  “I understand...kind of...when will we get to see each other again?” He asked.

  “As soon as you go to sleep. I promise,” Rose said.

  “I mean...when will we get to do this again?” Jett asked.

  “Soon, very soon. Now kiss me, I’m running out of time,” she said.

 
; He leaned over and pressed his lips to hers. Rose responded in kind and just as suddenly as she appeared, she vanished.

  ***

  Mallorie cuddled next to Bud.

  “You are one amazing man,” she said.

  He grunted.

  “Don’t sell your contribution short. You’re the one doing most of the work,” Bud said as she giggled.

  They were both silent for a couple of minutes as he tried to decide what he wanted to say. The air conditioner was chilly on his exposed chest – the part Mallorie did not occupy – which was still covered with a sheen of sweat.

  “Please don’t take this the wrong way but I don’t understand. You could have just about any man you wanted. I’m an old man. What do you possibly see in me?” He asked.

  Mallorie pushed her elbow out and propped her head on her arm next to Bud’s head.

  “What brought this on? Am I not making you happy? Have I done something?” She asked.

  “You make me plenty happy and you haven’t done anything – well, anything bad anyhow,” he said.

  “Then what’s going on?” Mallorie asked.

  “I’m not sure. It’s just I’ve had a lot on my mind in the past couple of days,” Bud said.

  “I can imagine with the trip to the hospital and all,” she said.

  “Well...that might be part of it,” he said to buy some time as he tried think of his next statement. “I’m old enough to be your father. Hell, I’m old enough to be your grandfather. As a matter of fact, I found out today your grandfather is an old friend of mine. Your grandfather is Earl Atkins. Why didn’t you tell me that when we I hired you to work at the paper? Why did you use an assumed name?” Bud asked.

  “For the record, it is not an assumed name. Afton is my middle name and the name I choose to call myself. Would telling you my full name have made a difference?” She asked.

  “In hiring you, no. Everything else,” his voice trailed off as he shook his head.

  “I don’t care how old you are or how long you’ve known granddaddy. This isn’t about anyone but you and me,” Mallorie said.

  “Then you know I knew your mother,” Bud said.

  She nodded.

  “I know that you granddaddy have been friends for years. I know more stories about you than I do about most of my family. I know how you stood by granddaddy after my mom killed herself. I know you found out about her at about the same time and that you stayed with him and well, us, day and night for weeks,” Mallorie said.

  “And that doesn’t creep you out at least a little?” Bud said.

  “No. It shows me that you care much more about people – especially your friends – than you let on. I mean it’s not like you’re a relative,” she said.

  “No but...I’ve got to be honest, this is weird, even for me,” he said.

  “Don’t let be weird. Enjoy it. We’re both adults and it’s safe to say we enjoy each others’ company — am I right?” Mallorie asked.

  “Well, yeah but that doesn’t make it right,” Bud argued.

  “And it doesn’t make it wrong either,” she countered.

  “You do know that I wrote the story about your mom,” he said.

  “And the one about my dad,” she said.

  “That doesn’t make you hate me just a little?” Bud asked.

  “Why would it? You didn’t do anything – they did. If you’re worried I hold anything against you, I don’t and never have. I grew up hearing whispers no matter where I went around here. I saw other kids with moms and dads but I had granddaddy and to an extent, granny. I would ask questions and all they would say was that my mom and dad loved me but were in Heaven. And then one day when I was ten, a friend of mine came to school and asked me if my mom really killed herself. When I got home, I asked granddaddy. He went and dug out copies of your articles and brought them to me. He explained how my dad died and what my mom went through after that,” she said.

  “Marie went through hell. I can’t begin to tell you that I understood what she went through. In hindsight, maybe we should have suspected she was at risk to do what she did,” Bud said.

  “Did you know my dad?” She asked.

  “Not real well, but yes I knew him,” Bud said.

  “Granddaddy and granny didn’t like him. What did you think of him?” Mallorie asked.

  “Like I said, I didn’t know him well, but the little I knew, I didn’t much care for,” he said.

  “I really don’t know anything about him. I tried to track his family down once but his parents – my grandparents – died a long time ago. He had two brothers but they didn’t really want to talk to me. One of them even denied that Lee was my dad,” she said.

  “Listen, there’s not a doubt in my mind that Lee was your dad. Your mom loved him; I have no doubt about that. There was no other man in her life,” Bud said.

  “What was it about my dad you didn’t like?” She asked.

  “He was cocky to the point of being arrogant. He had a tendency to take rudeness to new levels. I really don’t understand what Marie saw in him,” Bud said.

  Mallorie listened to his words intently.

  “All granddaddy will say is he was a drunk and behaved like an ass. Granny refuses to talk about him at all,” she said.

  “I really wish I could tell you more about him. I was just around him a few times,” he said.

  Mallorie frowned and then her expression changed.

  “Granddaddy said that you really helped the family out by finding a baby sitter when Granny needed help. The only baby sitter I can remember is Mrs. Stone,” she said.

  Bud chuckled.

  “Well don’t give me too much credit. I had a niece in high school that was trying to make spending mon-,” he stopped himself. He could feel the surprised look on his face.

  “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Mallorie asked as she bolted up.

  “I-I’m fine. I just...I had forgotten about the baby-sitting deal,” Bud said.

  “Oh. Who was it? I’d like to meet her again,” Mallorie said.

  “I wish you could,” he said.

  She gave him a puzzled look.

  “It was my niece, Rose,” Bud said.

  Chapter Nine

  Alicia walked back into Jett’s house as quietly as possible, easing the front door closed and carefully locking it behind her. A single table lamp was left on to allow her to be able to see when she came back.

  The house was quiet and Alicia eased up the stairs. She gently opened the door to the room that Maggie was in and found her sound asleep. She smiled as watched her daughter sleeping. Alicia wondered if J.D. might be visiting his daughter again. Her own visit with her late husband left her happy but wanting to know more.

  It all seemed so surreal. She actually had a conversation and physical contact – or something resembling it – with her dead husband. It boggled her scientific mind. When she factored in the “dream” conversations with dead best friend, it was beyond comprehension.

  But understanding it or not, Alicia was happier than she had been in a long time. She wondered if Jett was asleep yet – the urge to talk to someone was almost consuming her. After approaching his door, Alicia decided to wait. If he was asleep, he was undoubtedly visiting with Rose – she did not want to disturb their time together. J.D. had explained that now that they had made physical contact – or whatever kind of contact it was – they were now free to come to their spouses in their dreams. Though he could not divulge many details, there appeared to be certain rules. One was that face-to-face visits outside of dreams were limited. Another was that now that contact had been established those visits could take place anywhere. Although she was more than willing to do whatever it took to see J.D., Alicia was relieved to know she wouldn’t have to continue to sneak into the apartment over Bud’s garage. That would be not only awkward but also difficult once Maggie moved in there.

  That thought reminded her of a third rule – Maggie was not allowed to see J.D. the same way Alicia did
. He could come to her in dreams only. She assumed the same was true of Rose and her sons. But even those visits meant so much. At least J.D. and Maggie could talk. After all, how many people – regardless of age – wished they could talk to a parent that had passed away?

  Alicia sat down in the chair next to the bed and took her sneakers off. Even though she kept in pretty good shape, she had spent an inordinate amount of time on her feet in the past couple of days and they ached. Now that she thought about it, her whole body ached. And for all of the soreness and fatigue, Alicia felt more peace of mind than had in at least two years. As tempted as she was just to drift off to sleep in the chair, she resisted the urge and changed into her nightgown. The bed felt comfortable and inviting. Sleep would come soon.

  ***

  Jett couldn’t remember drifting off. All he knew was he found himself in the middle of a beautiful spring day sitting on a blanket under an elm tree at Riverside Park in Crystal Springs. It was beautiful spot overlooking the Cumberland River. About fifty yards off to his left he saw the clubhouse of the Fuson County Rowing Club. There were people of all ages milling about the park. There were couples taking leisurely strolls and holding hands as well as joggers enjoying the park running trail and children riding bicycles. A few college guys – or at least college-aged guys were playing a game of touch football.

  “You look like you want in the game,” Rose said with a wide smile.

  Jett hadn’t even seen her appear next to him on the blanket. He noticed a picnic basket next to her.

  “The only thing I want to play with is you,” he said without thinking of how it sounded and when she started laughing he realized his choice of words. “What I meant to say was...who am I kidding? That’s exactly what I meant to say. You’ve always had that effect on me,” Jett said.

  “I’m glad I do,” she said she gave him a quick peck on the lips.

  Her kiss felt as real as it did just a couple of hours earlier. Rose reached over and took his hands in hers. Her touch was warm and soft. Just as their meeting earlier in the evening, she looked to be in her late twenties or early thirties. One thing he was always recognized was how well Rose aged. She somehow always managed to look several years younger than her actual age. Rose wore khaki shorts and brown sandals with a pink collared knit pullover.