Only When I Dream Read online

  “Let me look at that beautiful face,” as he looked into her eyes. No matter what she went through in life, that twinkle, that sparks, that look had never left her eyes.

  “After all this time, you still know how to make me feel special,” Rose said.

  “It’s only because you are. You know, I can’t even begin to describe what it feels like to hold you again,” Jett said.

  “Me either, but I love it,” she said.

  “So, it looks like a beautiful day for a picnic,” he said as he took another look around the park. The sound of people’s voices and laughter was so vibrant.

  “Are you hungry?” Rose asked.

  “No, not really. It’s just that, uh, I’m not complaining, but I’m just wondering why we’re at the park instead a nice secluded cabin in front of a fire place on a cold winter night,” he said.

  She giggled.

  “That’s your fault. You determine where we meet. It’s your dream after all. I’m just a guest,” Rose said.

  “You’re a guest that always welcome,” Jett said as he kissed her. “Now, how can I change our location?” He asked.

  She smiled again. “My suggestion – and that’s all this is - would be to focus on a specific location just before you go to sleep. That doesn’t always work but it does seem to help,” Rose said.

  He nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind for future reference. Now, I have another question. How much are we limited in my dreams?” Jett asked.

  Rose looked a little puzzled.

  “What do you mean?” She asked.

  “I mean...is there anything we’re not allowed to do...together?” He asked.

  She smiled and shook her head.

  “We’re only limited by our combined imagination,” she said as she a little closer. “Did you have something in mind?” She asked.

  “Do you need to ask? I have a lot in mind,” Jett said.

  She laughed. “I’ll just bet you do. And I look forward to all of it. But there are some things - rules if you will – that I need to make you aware of first,” Rose said.

  She repeated the rules to Jett that J.D. shared with Alicia.

  “So what is the limit on face to face meetings...while I’m awake?” Jett asked.

  “Once per week. I honestly don’t know why – not yet anyway – but that’s the way it is,” she explained.

  “But you can visit me in the house?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “In our bedroom?” Jett asked.

  “Yes, if you’d like.”

  “How about at the office?” He asked.

  “The office? You must be really lonely or you’re getting very bold,” Rose said.

  “No, not like that. I mean if you’re there maybe Bud could see you as well,” Jett said.

  Rose shook her sadly.

  “No baby. He falls into the same category as the boys. I can see him in dreams and talk to him but that’s it,” she said.

  “I see. That’s too bad. I mean it’s great that that they can see you in dreams but it’s something special to know you’re there when I’m wide awake...after all these years. But I know they love you too and any nights you want to spend in their dreams, I understand,” he said.

  “Already trying to get rid of me?” Rose asked playfully.

  “Not at all. I don’t ever want to be apart from you again,” Jett said as he embraced her.

  “I know baby. I have plenty of time to visit them and I do,” she said as she gently rubbed his face.

  “I don’t mean to be so selfish of my time with you,” he said.

  “I’m glad you are,” Rose answered.

  “Since you have that picnic basket with you we might as well see what’s inside,” Jett said.

  Rose grinned as she opened the basket and started getting food out. There were various sandwiches – everything from bologna to cheeseburgers and chilidogs. There were also Caesar and garden salads along with green beans and corn. The food just kept piling up.

  “What did you pack?” He asked.

  “Again, it’s your dream. I’m just getting out the food in your subconscious. When was the last time you ate?” She asked.

  Jett thought about it.

  “I had some toast and coffee this morning,” he said.

  “There you go. You haven’t taken time to eat and it’s catching up with you. I agree with the boys. You’re not eating right and you’re losing weight. Do us both a favor and stop skipping meals. You did that when I was...when I was sick,” Rose said.

  Jett suddenly had a lump in his throat. Those days were a bitter and painful memory.

  “As sick as you were, you worried about me,” he said as he could feel the tears forming as they always did when he thought about those dreadful days.

  “Well, I’m not sick anymore and we’re back together, so you have no excuse,” she scolded.

  He smiled. “Yes dear.”

  “Was I nagging?” She asked.

  “No baby, you never nagged even when you had every right. And even if you were, I’d love every word,” Jett said.

  “By the way, you need to talk to Danny. Tell him to stay off of the roof before he gets hurt,” she said.

  “Huh?” Jett asked.

  Rose patted his hand. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

  He shook his head and leaned back against the tree and laid her head on his chest.

  “I am curious. The visit by Marie Atkins was weird – even by my recently redefined standards of weird,” Jett said.

  Rose’s mood darkened.

  “It is strange. especially for someone so consumed by such vehement bitterness. I can’t see her doing any favors for me,” she said.

  “I don’t understand the bitterness. I picked up on that too. Is she not reunited with her fiancée Lee?” Jett asked.

  “No honey, she’s not. And she never will be. They are separated forever. What Lee believed – or rather didn’t believe – in his life on earth sealed his eternal fate,” Rose said sadly.

  “Are you saying Lee went to hell?” Jett asked.

  Rose distantly stared at him for a minute as though reflecting on something.

  “Yes,” she said softly.

  Jett’s curiosity got the better of him.

  “Have you seen it? Hell, I mean?” He asked.

  She nodded. “Please don’t ask me about it. Not now and not ever,” she said.

  He pulled her closer. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked,” he said.

  Rose smiled. “You can’t help. It’s in your blood,” she said.

  “So what’s the deal with Marie Atkins? What’s her beef with you?” Jett asked.

  “Simple jealousy,” Rose said.

  “Jealousy? Of what?” He asked.

  “Part of it is that we have a relationship and can see each other. Another part of it is that my uncle is...,” her voice trailed off.

  “Your uncle is having a twenty-year delayed mid-life crisis with her daughter,” Jett said.

  “Exactly. But the worst part for her is that I had a relationship with her daughter that she never had a chance to experience,” Rose said.

  “Come again?” Jett asked.

  “I was her baby sitter when she was an infant,” she said.

  “You were Mallorie’s baby sitter?” Jett asked.

  “I was in high school and Uncle Bud said the Atkins family needed help and he was willing to pay for it. It was extra money so I agreed,” Rose smiled at the memory. “But she was such a sweet baby. I started spending more and more time helping Mrs. Atkins. I did that until late in my senior year of high school. Then one day Mrs. Atkins told me I was no longer needed and not to come back.”

  “Why?” Jett asked.

  “She never told me. But Marie has made her feelings known that I had no right to love her daughter if she couldn’t,” Rose said.

  “She made her choice. She’s the one that opted to leave her child,” Jett said.

  “That’s just it. She
didn’t have a choice,” Rose said.

  “Are you saying she was murdered?” Jett asked.

  “I’m saying look into it. Maybe that will help Marie. I do worry about what she might try to do,” she said.

  Rose tilted her head and gave him the please listen to me look.

  “She’s crazy with grief – even after all these years. I think you understand that better than most people,” she said.

  “No argument here,” he said.

  “I’m just trying to stay clear of her right now. I don’t know what she has planned,” Rose said.

  “Keep me informed. I don’t like surprises either,” he said.

  “I will,” she said.

  “Now, onto happier subjects. Tell me what you want me to concentrate on before I fall asleep tomorrow night,” Jett said.

  She giggled again.

  ***

  Bud relaxed on his back on the left center portion of the bed. Mallorie had her head on his chest and made light circles on the middle of his chest with her fingers.

  “So Jett’s late wife was my baby sitter?” She asked.

  “Yes she was. Rose grew quite fond of you. And as I recall, you thought a lot of her,” Bud said.

  “Really? Then why don’t I remember her?” Mallorie asked.

  “She started college a few months after you turned two. I remember because she and Edna had a huge party for you. Not long after that, Edna took you to her sister’s. You and she stayed there for several months and when you came back, Mrs. Stone was hired as your baby sitter,” he said.

  “Did Rose ever try to see me after that?” Mallorie asked.

  “Yes, but Edna was against it. She thought it might undermine your relationship with Mrs. Stone - at least that’s what she told Rose,” Bud said.

  “You don’t sound like you believed Granny,” she said.

  “I didn’t. It sounded like total bullshit to me but I didn’t press it. I know how guarded Edna could be with you so I wasn’t real surprised. Apparently I didn’t think it scarred you or Rose either one, or I might have remembered it sooner,” he said.

  “I suppose so,” Mallorie said quietly.

  “How is Earl getting along these days?” Bud asked.

  “He apparently had a really bad nightmare last night. He dreamed about mom again. It’s nothing new really. It happens on a regular basis and seems like it’s getting worse as he gets older,” she said.

  “Did he say what the nightmare was?” Bud asked.

  “All he said was she was still full of bitterness after all this time,” Mallorie said.

  “Do you ever dream of your mom?” He asked.

  “No. I wish I did. But maybe it’s because I didn’t really get a chance to get to know her. I mean we really never had a relationship,” Mallorie said as Bud nodded sympathetically.

  “You know, you might want to talk to Jett. He might have some pictures of you and Rose. She took pictures of everything and kept them. She would have made a great reporter,” Bud said as he lost himself in thought before his mind wandered back to the present. “Jett might have some of her old pictures mixed in with his family photos,” he said.

  “Hey! That’s a great idea. I’d love to have a look at them,” she said.

  “I don’t think it’ll be a problem,” Bud said.

  “In the meantime,” Mallorie said as her hand started slowly moving south.

  Bud rolled his head back on the pillow.

  “Ooooh. I’m not sure I’m ready for round two,” he said.

  “Mmmm. I don’t know. Seems to me, you are,” she said.

  “Uhhh...I...,” was all Bud could manage to say.

  “Just relax and enjoy it,” Mallorie said as she kissed his chest.

  “This is just bizarre,” he said.

  “And yet you like it,” she said.

  He dropped his argument.

  ***

  Alicia woke up just before six-thirty a.m. After a quick shower, she got dressed and came downstairs. She was greeted by the smell of bacon frying and coffee brewing. It didn’t smell like Jett’s coffee. It smelled...drinkable.

  As she approached the kitchen she could hear voices. She decided to stop and eavesdrop a bit.

  “There are a couple of things I’ve always wanted to ask you,” Maggie said.

  “Go ahead. I don’t have that many secrets,” Jett said.

  “Dad said you had a nickname when you played football. He said they called you ‘the Silent Killer.’ Where did that come from?” She asked.

  He smiled. It wasn’t the first time he had been asked that question.

  “That came from our defensive coordinator, Ken Winchester. I was really shy when I started college. I didn’t say much on the field or off. One day at practice I made a really hard tackle on a senior fullback named Woody Huxley, who suffered a concussion. Coach Winchester said something like, ‘Look at this kid. He never makes a sound. He just kills and leaves.’ And it stuck,” Jett said.

  “Dad said you were good. He said you might have even had a shot at the pros until you got hurt,” Maggie said.

  “Your dad was a great quarterback but a lousy evaluator of talent. I was never that good,” Jett said.

  “He said you were modest too,” she said.

  “J.D. just didn’t want to admit he was wrong. You said you had a couple of questions,” Jett said.

  “I’ve always wondered what made you want to be a journalist.” Maggie asked.

  “It was my senior year in high school. Football season had just ended. This was back in the days where schools offered sixth period study halls. I was able to have fifth and sixth period study hall that year. Of course when football was over my options were sitting with nothing to do or go to the library. One day I was reading the school paper and saw that the girls’ basketball team was getting next to no coverage. How do you want your eggs?” Jett asked.

  “Scrambled please,” she said as he resumed his story.

  “So I griped to the faculty sponsor about it and she offered me an opportunity to cover the team myself. So I took her up on her offer and I was hooked,” Jett said.

  “How did you get a job with the News-Democrat?” Maggie asked.

  “Well, that is an even less interesting story – and that’s three questions. There was an ad in the paper for sports stringers during basketball season. I walked in, applied, and was hired because Bud needed someone to cover the Fusion County High game that night. Of all three applicants, I was the only one free to go to the game that night. That’s how I got the job. Bud was desperate for help and I was available to work. Further proof that capitalism works,” he said.

  “Uncle Bud must’ve seen something in you. He kept you around,” Maggie said.

  “Yes, a warm body. But I was willing to work and learn. He was willing to teach and pay. Seriously, I learned more from Bud in a month than I learned in every journalism class I took combined – both of them,” Jett said as he raked her eggs out into plates along with several strips of bacon the side.

  “Here’s your toast. I’ll let you butter it to your taste,” he said as placed the plate down in front of her.

  “Thank you, but you really didn’t have to,” Maggie said.

  “I don’t mind. It’s been a long time since I made breakfast for you. You know, I used to make it for your dad too. We had a hot plate, an electric skillet, and a toaster oven in our dorm room. In fact, that’s where I learned to cook,” Jett said.

  Alicia walked into the kitchen.

  “Good morning,” she said as she walked in.

  “Good morning mom,” Maggie said.

  “Good morning. I trust you slept well. Want some breakfast?” Jett asked.

  “Eggs would be nice. Coffee smells good,” she said as she poured a cup. “And how did you sleep?” She asked.

  “Yeah, Maggie made it,” he said as he dished some eggs for Alicia. “And for the record, I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed a night’s sleep so much. Bacon or toast?
” He asked.

  She grinned and shook her head. “This is fine. Getting ready for the ‘Bradley Era’ at the News Democrat?” Alicia asked.

  “Yes, I am. Feels like the first day of school,” Jett said.

  “Would you mind if I drop by there sometime this morning? I’d really like to meet a few people and take a look at everything. I’d like to hit the ground running in a couple of weeks,” Maggie said.

  “That’s fine. If I’m not available, Mallorie can show you around. Just be warned...if and when you meet Ed Kelly...well, you’ll see,” Jett said.

  “Ed’s still there?” Alicia asked in amazement.

  “Younger than ever,” Jett said.

  “What’s the deal with him?” Maggie asked.

  Jett looked at Alicia, who could not contain a laugh.

  “What Jett is so delicately trying to say is that Ed is...a little...,” Alicia said.

  “Creepy toward women,” Jett said.

  “But he’s harmless and in his own way, kind of sweet,” Alicia said.

  “More local color,” Maggie said.

  “You have no idea,” Jett said.

  Alicia stood up and poured herself a second cup of coffee.

  “I thought we might head back to Louisville somewhere around three this afternoon. That should give us time to get in get a little rest for tomorrow,” she said.

  “I’ll be packed,” Maggie said as she finished her breakfast. She walked with her plate and silverware and loaded them into the dishwasher. “Thank you for breakfast. And now, I’ll head to the shower since it’s now available,” she said as she left the kitchen.

  “You know, I overheard part of your conversation with Maggie,” Alicia said.

  “Which part?” Jett asked as swallowed a bite of bacon.

  “About how good you were. I’ll be the first to admit that J.D. wasn’t always right, but he wasn’t wrong about that,” she said.

  “It really doesn’t matter. Football had to end at some point. It just came sooner than later; besides, I got to do what I wanted for a living anyway,” he said.

  “Does your ankle bother you much anymore? Alicia asked.

  “Outside of some arthritic pain here and there, it’s not too bad. I do my limping in the colder months,” Jett said.

  She nodded wordlessly and took a sip of coffee.